


this piece of you is a piece of me

by ellewriteswrongs



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Communication, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Running Away, Sad with a Happy Ending, author projecting onto roman, imagine talking about your feelings???, remus is really just there for like two paragraphs, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellewriteswrongs/pseuds/ellewriteswrongs
Summary: this is based on a personal theory of mine that I've never discussed with anyone before so pls don't attack me for it. I've never seen it mentioned anywhere before, but it's been living rent-free in my head for over a year now and i just had to put it out in the world somewhere-----(set after SvS redux) roman runs away into the imagination, virgil refuses to let him go alone, and that's all I'm gonna say
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders (Implied)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 89





	this piece of you is a piece of me

**Author's Note:**

> this gets pretty angsty bc i'm always a slut for roman angst, but in all honesty this fic is my baby and I've never posted any writing for this fandom before even though I've been around since the beginning, but hopefully y'all like this
> 
> also i barely planned this out before i wrote it but it turned into this monster and i definitely didn't proofread it so pls ignore any typos but yeah hopefully this at least makes a little sense

The mindscape had an atmosphere unlike any other when Thomas finally shut off the camera and all of the sides sank out. Roman was long gone at that point, electing to hide out in his room with a block on the door preventing anyone from getting in.

He kept telling himself that no one had been purposely trying to hurt him, especially not Patton. He didn’t think the moral side could even do so if he wanted to. Deceit—or Janus, he supposed, he was less sure about, but he seemed to share the same motivation they all did; he just wanted what was best for Thomas. Logan, as usual, seemed less than interested in the emotional implications of his intervening, but at the very least he knew that hurting any of Thomas’ sides would, in turn, hurt Thomas himself, which Logan had slowly been working on.

But then _why,_ he kept asking himself as he stood in front of the large, ornate mirror in his bathroom, splashing water from the sink into his face to rid it of any puffiness.

_Why couldn’t they see that he was trying?_

All he wanted was to be right just _once_.

He really thought he had done the right thing by sending Thomas to the wedding! Patton was supposed to know the difference between right and wrong and if he just listened to Patton he should’ve done the right thing!

But…

But he still messed up.

He just wanted the reassurance that his best was enough. The one thing he couldn’t create for himself was approval from the others. It shouldn’t have hurt as badly as it did to face the fact that he might never get it.

He could count on one hand the number of genuinely nice things Logan had said about his work over the years.

Patton tossed around compliments so much they started to lose their meaning.

He was lucky if Virgil even made the effort to read the things he wrote.

Roman had long-since given up trying to get any compliments out of Remus.

And asking Janus for approval…well that was just an invitation to be belittled and lied to.

He supposed it must be too much to ask. Maybe he _was_ being greedy, constantly asking others to spend their time reading and watching and listening to all of the things he made. _Thomas_ sure didn’t do that to his friends and family and _he_ was a good person.

That settled it.

He’d let Logan handle the videos. All of Thomas’ videos came from many cycles of Logan’s rigorous editing of Roman’s ideas anyway. Patton could handle any emotional issues, he’d probably solve any romantic issues if they happened to pop up, seeing as Roman had such a _great_ track record with those. Virgil would make sure the others were up to the general standard. Surely then he would stand out from Remus.

He would finally help Thomas be successful.

He wouldn’t have any more bad ideas if he just eliminated the problem at the source.

No more ideas leads to no more bad ideas. As simple as that.

The strings of lights that adorned the ceiling of his room seemed dimmer than he could remember. The glow from the door that led to the Imagination was almost…flickering. Even the air felt colder, the way it had outside of his room.

Roman just shivered and turned to his wardrobe to pull out a long cloak, deep burgundy in color and made of a thick fabric. He slung the cloak around his shoulders and fastened it around his neck, feeling the chill just as strongly as before, but ignoring it as well as he could.

His more casual footwear was swiftly replaced by his black leather riding boots and a matching set of gloves were pulled over his shaking hands.

He paused in front of his desk, picking up his previously discarded quill and scribbling out a note on the backside of a page of sheet music he had been working on writing before filming earlier. He shivered just thinking about the events that had transpired during the video, but he couldn’t let himself get distracted.

As he wrote, he was blind to the door opening behind him until he felt a hand drop gently onto his shoulder.

He couldn’t help but flinch, looking up behind him to see Virgil standing behind him, concern written all over his face.

“Roman? Can you hear me?” He spoke, carefully keeping his voice relatively quiet and gentle.

Roman nodded, turning back to his desk to quickly flip over the note he was writing, only to stop himself. It wouldn’t matter soon anyway and it wasn’t like he was going to let Virgil convince him to stay.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, leaning his elbows on his desk with his head in his hands. “I didn’t mean to ignore you, I just…”

Virgil huffed a quiet laugh.

“Don’t sweat it, Princey. I figured you might be distracted,” he smirked, turning to sit on the corner of Roman’s desk, his arms crossed over his chest. “How was the video?”

The question was innocent, considering Virgil had opted out of participating. He certainly didn’t deserve the involuntary flinch that Roman gave at the mentioning of that night’s events.

“Dude, you good?” Virgil asked, clearly starting to pick up on Roman’s unusual behavior.

“It’s…it’s fine, I just-“ he cut himself off, carefully selecting his next words. “The others did a good job. Janus really stole the show, and all that.”

Now it was Virgil’s turn to flinch. “He…he told you his name?”

Roman nodded, his own subsequent insult parroting in his head.

“Well shit,” Virgil sighed. “So things got serious?’

Roman nodded again, another sign to Virgil that something was very wrong. Roman was nothing if not talkative, especially after a bout of filming.

“Ro, did something happen?” He ultimately decided to ask as carefully as he could. He could practically see the gears turning in Roman’s head. “Listen, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, I just thought…I don’t know. I just don’t like seeing you like this.”

Roman finally set down his quill, not realizing he was gripping it so tightly that it was a miracle it hadn’t snapped in half. He couldn’t bring himself to look Virgil in the eye.

“I think I need to go,” he eventually spoke up. Virgil, who clearly wasn’t expecting _that_ as his answer, watched him carefully as if trying to be sure he was serious. “Not…not forever. I couldn’t do that to Thomas, I just…”

“Just need some space?” Virgil supplied, testing the waters.

Roman finally looked up at him, even if just for a moment before looking back down at his hands folded in his lap.

“Is that what this getup is for?” Virgil continued.

Roman pulled the cloak a bit tighter over him.

Virgil took that as a yes.

“Okay then,” he sighed, his hands slapping against his thighs once before he hopped off the edge of the desk and landed on his feet, quickly conjuring a similar cloak of his own, dark black on the outside with purple lining underneath. The additional hood was a welcome replacement for his usual hoodie.

Roman didn’t look up from his hands until he saw Virgil stick a hand out in front of him. He turned to look up at the other side and his eyes widened.

“W-what are you doing?” He asked, his eyes flitting back and forth from Virgil’s face to his new outfit. The latter huffed a laugh.

“I’m coming with you, obviously.”

And there it was.

As if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So, where to?” Virgil continued casually.

Roman just blinked.

“You…” he stammered. “You want to…to come with me?”

Virgil chuckled, walking over to Roman’s ornate standing mirror, turning to examine his own handiwork.

“I mean, I’m sure you know there’s no way I’m letting you duck out so…yeah. I’m up for a little Imagination vacation,” he spoke with more authenticity than Roman could remember ever hearing from the other. “If you’ll have me, of course.”

Roman, realizing that there wasn’t really any point in trying to fight Virgil on this, especially considering he was, potentially, the only family member that still liked him at that point. Maybe if he could just keep Virgil from finding out what he had done…how badly he had failed Thomas…maybe then Roman wouldn’t lose all of them.

No.

No he couldn’t take advantage of Virgil’s non-partisan position like that.

“You…might want to talk to the others before going anywhere with me,” he countered, standing from his chair and turning away from Virgil towards the door to the Imagination.

“Anything I need to know, I’m sure you can tell me when you’re ready,” Virgil argued back without any of the usual sourness his voice usually held.

Roman didn’t answer and Virgil sighed once more, walking up to stand beside Roman, knocking their shoulders together.

“Look, Princey…I’m not letting you go anywhere by yourself, not after whatever happened downstairs. If you don’t let me into the Imagination with you, you know I’ll just go get Remus to do it so if you want to pull this whole disappearing thing off in your typical dramatic fashion, I suggest you stop fighting me on it,” he spoke quickly, clearly uncomfortable making his feelings of anxiety towards Roman so known. “I’m… _worried_ about you and I just…I just want to make sure you’re okay. Getting to rampage through the woods for a week or so is just a bonus.”

Roman met his eyes, offering him a small smile, before pushing open the door and taking Virgil’s hand to allow him inside.

* * *

They walked for hours before stopping. It was strangely freeing, if Roman was being honest. He felt…lighter the moment they walked through the door knowing that the others couldn’t follow. After a few minutes of Virgil supplying casual commentary, Roman joined in. They talked just like old times, like they hadn’t just run away from their whole lives, about Disney movies, music they had both been listening to, and even the new eyeshadow Virgil had started using that Roman had recommended to him.

Virgil didn’t dare bring up the video, electing to let Roman tell him about it when he was ready, and Roman just let himself start to relax.

The great thing about the Imagination was that, within the realm, Roman’s powers were virtually limitless. Once they were both tired from walking so far, Virgil suggested they conjure some tents and set up camp in the woods for the rest of the night, to which Roman pointed out a small structure not too far off in the distance, flicking his wrist until two horses appeared in the clearing right in front of them.

Virgil was taken aback for a brief moment, staring in awe as Roman immediately swung himself onto the back of a beautiful, crisp-white steed, taking the reins in his hands and guiding the horse with ease. Virgil just gawked at the pebbled-gray horse beside him.

“Hell no, there is _no_ way-“ he panicked, to which Roman laughed brightly.

“Alright, alright, Panic at the Everywhere,” Roman teased, flicking his wrist again to make the other horse disappear before holding out his hand to Virgil. The latter eyed his hand apprehensively. “Come on, emo. You trust me, don’t you?”

The answer to that question didn’t require any second-guessing from Virgil.

Saddling a previously non-existent horse with Roman at the reins, however…now that was a different question.

Still, greatly preferring that option to riding alone, he took Roman’s hand and was gently swung up to sit behind the other, immediately wrapping his arms around Roman in terror.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy _shit_ ,” he rambled, feeling the reverberation from Roman’s laugh through his chest, making his heart swell. “You better not fucking get us thrown off this thing, or I swear-“

“You know I wouldn’t, V, just have a little blind faith for once,” he grinned over his shoulder. Virgil grumbled something about literally being the embodiment of anxiety under his breath and tightened his grip around Roman’s torso, shrieking as they went off riding.

Once the initial terror wore off, it was actually incredibly beautiful. Roman, who often went riding in the Imagination, knew right away that riding alone would never compare to having Virgil there with him. Why, he wasn’t quite sure, but perhaps it was that the one side he would’ve least expected to do this with him was right there behind him, somehow more relaxed than Roman had ever seen him.

He wondered at some point if Virgil had somehow managed to fall asleep, but he found he didn’t even mind as Virgil rested his chin on Roman’s shoulder, wrapping him up in warmth.

The sun began to set as they rode out of the woods and across long, rolling fields of wildflowers. Roman, strangely content after his bout of misery from earlier in the day, figured it would be better to not let himself get too attached to having Virgil around when the latter would surely leave after hearing what he’d done. Might as well get it over with.

“Hey, Virgil?” He spoke up softly, not wanting to wake up the other if he had indeed fallen asleep. Virgil, however, hummed in his ear in response. Roman took a deep breath. “So…about the video.”

He started, his heart pounding in his chest. Virgil reached around to clasp one of his hands and Roman thought he might cry.

“I messed up…sending Thomas to the wedding,” he started, not missing the confused noise Virgil made. “I thought…I thought I was doing the right thing. Hell, Patton always does the right thing so I just assumed that doing what Patton wanted would be the right thing to do.”

He could tell just from his body language alone that Virgil wanted to argue, but it seemed he knew that if he interrupted Roman, he’d never be able to finish.

“I thought that if I gave up something I wanted more than _anything_ …that it would be worth it to do the right thing. I could never forgive myself if I chose selfishly just because that _snake_ told me it was okay,” he continued with venom that he was sure he didn’t deserve to use. “But…but I _hurt_ Thomas and…and I’ll admit it, I didn’t want him to go to the wedding. I would’ve rather been selfish, but I just…I couldn’t do it. I wanted the validation, I wanted the praise for doing the right thing. I wanted the reward and the gratitude of skipping the callback to support Thomas’ friends but-“

He choked on his words, his watery eyes spilling over.

“But all I did was _hurt him_ ,” Roman cried, his chest shaking with sobs. “Even Patton and Logan said I messed up.”

By some miracle, Virgil held him even tighter.

“I know it’s normal to make mistakes sometimes but I just can’t seem to _stop_. Every video, every problem, I’m always the one that’s _wrong_ ,” his shoulders shook gently, Virgil pressing his face into the crook of Roman’s neck, rubbing circles into the backs of his hands. “How am I supposed to be Thomas’ hero if I’m constantly letting him down?”

His voice broke so harshly at the end of his statement that Virgil feared he might start crying himself. He wasn’t very good with words, Roman knew that just as well, but he couldn’t just let him stew in his sadness.

“Ro,” he started, speaking softly, taking the reins out of Roman’s hands for just a moment as he knew the other was in no shape to steer. “Take some deep breaths for me, please Princey. You remember the breathing exercise, yeah?”  
Roman nodded, following the four, seven, eight pattern.

He easily could’ve imagined it, but Roman would’ve sworn he felt Virgil press a gentle kiss to the underside of his jaw.

“You know what I learned when I left the dark sides?” Virgil spoke up eventually. Roman hummed in response. “It doesn’t matter how many times you get it wrong as long as you never stop trying to do the right thing.”

Roman sniffled as the horse slowly slowed to a stop outside a small cottage on a hill. Virgil quickly dropped the reins to take Roman’s hands.

They both dismounted before long, Roman silently walking towards the door to the cottage with Virgil following close behind him.

Inside there was a cobblestone fireplace with a crackling fire, a large sofa and mismatched lounge chairs, a small kitchen on the opposite side of the room, and a dining table with chairs for six.

Virgil moved to hang his cloak on a wooden coatrack by the door, gently stopping Roman to reach up and untie the clasp on the other’s cloak as well.

Roman stood close by as Virgil hung the cloaks on the coatrack until the latter turned around and a small smile formed on his face.

“I’m only gonna’ ask this once because you know this isn’t my thing,” he warned, a joking smile on his lips that he knew told Roman that he wouldn’t even have to ask for Virgil to change his mind. “Do you want a hug?”

Roman didn’t even answer, he just closed the few feet of distance between them and immediately curled into the anxious side. Virgil chuckled softly, one of his hands gripping the back of Roman’s tunic and the other holding the base of his neck and carding through the curling ends of his hair.

“You wanna’ turn in for the night?” Virgil spoke up after a while. Roman shrugged, reluctantly pulling back from their embrace. Virgil yawned and Roman, still unsure if he would even be able to sleep after everything, agreed nonetheless.

There were multiple bedrooms, but it went unspoken that there was no way Virgil was letting Roman out of his sight after everything.

Even as they curled up in the plush quilts and quickly fell asleep side by side, Virgil couldn’t shake two thoughts from his head.

_There’s no way I can make it through another fight with all the others._

And somehow, the thought that surprised him with how clearly it stuck in his head…

_I won’t let them hurt him. No matter what, we stick together._

Virgil just leaned into Roman’s chest and let the tension in his muscles fade away.

* * *

If he was being perfectly honest, Logan hadn’t even realized that anything had transpired the previous night that could’ve made any of the other sides upset. He wasn’t the best at interpreting the others’ emotions, they all knew that perfectly well, but something should’ve indicated the uneasy environment.

Nonetheless, he hadn’t noticed until early the next morning as he headed down the hallway and noticed…for some odd reason…Virgil’s door was open.

Virgil, ever the introvert, hardly ever let any of the others into his room. His door was locked shut at virtually all times so to see Virgil’s door open, _especially_ when he wasn’t in there.

No, something was definitely wrong.

He could hear commotion in the kitchen downstairs, likely Patton, so he figured that would be his best guess as to where the anxious side had gone.

“Patton?” Logan spoke up, another concern appearing when he noticed the side in question standing in front of the coffee machine with a blanket around his shoulders and a dejected look on his face.

He looked up, clearly startled even though Logan was sure he was aware his counterpart always woke up quite early.

“Oh, I’m sorry Logan, did I wake you up?” Patton asked, looking almost guilty as if he had been caught doing something much worse than preparing breakfast.

Logan simply shook his head and headed for the kitchen. His brow furrowed as he realized what Patton was doing.

“You never drink coffee,” Logan pointed out bluntly, half expecting to see one of Virgil’s or even Logan’s mugs under the coffee machine as Patton often prepared drinks to be ready when the others woke up.

Patton shrugged, continuing to add a surprisingly sparse spoonful of sugar to the mug.

“I just don’t want to be tired all day long. I…I didn’t sleep too well last night,” he eventually admitted, only adding more confusion to the puzzle Logan was trying to put together.

“Are you not feeling well?” That would make sense after all, as Patton had, for whatever reason, ended up with the manifestation of Thomas’ seasonal allergies and would find himself in bouts of sneezing for hours on end.

Patton once again shrugged noncommittally.

“I’m not sick, kiddo, don’t worry,” he assured the logical side. He seemed to have picked up on Logan’s lack of concern regarding the last video they had filmed the night before. “I’m just…stressed, I suppose.”

Ahh, now that was making more sense.

“I see,” he hummed, grabbing his own mug to fill with the fresh coffee pot. “I was wondering why Virgil’s door was left open, but that certainly makes sense.”

Patton froze in the midst of stirring his drink.

“Virgil’s door is open?” He looked up at Logan with the same confusion and concern that plagued his counterpart and any relief immediately left Logan’s mind.

“I assumed you were feeling the effects of spending time in his room, is that not-“

Patton shook his head quickly, abandoning his cup of coffee to head for the stairs. Logan followed after him on instinct, still unsure why Patton was so concerned.

Patton went straight to Virgil’s door, peeking inside and scanning the room to see that Virgil was nowhere to be found. His bedsheets had been folded back as if he had been in bed and never crawled back in, but if he hadn’t come downstairs after waking up then-

“He must be in Roman’s room,” Logan spoke up, immediately noticing Patton’s hesitance to follow him. “Is something the matter?”

Patton looked past him at Roman’s bright red door. Logan glanced behind him to follow the other’s line of sight.

“I’m not so sure he’d…want to see me,” Patton spoke dejectedly. Logan seemed confused.

“Why not?”

Patton pulled the blanket around his shoulders even tighter.

“I may have…let him down, so to speak, in the video last night,” Patton spoke, clearly distraught. “I don’t want to make things worse if he doesn’t want to see me.”

Logan, electing to not question Patton’s emotions, nods to him and heads to the door alone, knocking a few times.

With no answer, he glances back at Patton, who gives him a sad smile and a shrug.

Deciding he can deal with any anger on his intrusion later, Logan opens the door anyway and his brow immediately furrows in confusion.

“He’s…not here either,” he explains to Patton, who quickly follows him into the room.

Roman’s room, though usually the epitome of personality and shine, seems mysteriously dull as if all that has been left behind is an empty shell. The plush velvet chaise and satin pillows no longer shimmer in the dozen different types of lights around the room. Somehow, even the deep red wallsseem to have faded closer to a dull brown.

“Oh no…,” Patton mumbled sadly, walking up to the ornate vanity table on the opposite wall as he gently lifted up the crown that sat upon its stand.

The intricately sculpted gold had entirely lost its shine and every gemstone that adorned it had turned a sad shade of gray, no longer catching the light.

“Oh, kiddo…,” he sighed, placing the crown back on its stand in favor of gazing at the large collage of photographs that adorned the wall. Some were of Thomas, especially from his various theater productions and tour, but the rest of the wall was filled with photos of the rest of the sides. He was amazed to see photos he had never even noticed being taken at the time, but it made his already fragile heart ache even more. “What have I done?”

Logan, across the room in front of Roman’s desk, flipped through the pages of notes and reminders pinned to a large bulletin board on the wall, surprisingly pleased to see how many of his own notes Roman had taken to heart and made an effort to incorporate.

Curious as to what appeared to be an unfinished project that Roman hadn’t told any of them he was working on, Logan picked up the pages of sheet music on the desk, reading through the notes and lyrics as the piece slowly came together in his head. Eager to hear the rest of what seemed to be a great start, he flipped over the page and was startled to see a…letter?

“Patton, look at this,” he called out to the other. His eyes scanned the elegant penmanship, concern building as he handed the note to the more emotional side. Patton’s face fell immediately as he read the note, his hand flying to his mouth as he gasped.

Logan crept towards the door to the Imagination as Patton read the letter, already knowing what would happen, but reaching out to attempt to open the door nonetheless. Despite knowing he couldn’t open the door on his own, he still sighed in defeat at the result.

“We need Remus,” he spoke dejectedly, sure without asking that Patton would follow him to bring their friend back. “As much as I know Roman won’t be thrilled to see him, he’s the only way we can get him back.”

Patton only nodded, setting the letter down before pausing, noticing something out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey Logan?” He prompted, walking across the room to stand at the side of Roman’s bed.

Logan looked up at him, an eyebrow quirked.

“I think…I think Virgil went _with_ him,” he continued, picking up the aforementioned side’s signature hoodie from where it laid discarded on the bed. His heart clenched as he realized what this meant.

On one hand, he was so relieved that Roman wasn’t out there all alone, especially if he was so upset. On the _other_ hand…he knew he should’ve at least done something to check up on Roman after filming. Even if all the regal side did was yell at him to leave him alone and slam his door in his face, he should’ve done _something._

He was glad Virgil had taken Roman’s side, even if it brewed tension with himself and Logan. Even Patton was still wondering if he’d made the right decision to listen to Janus.

Yes, Janus had been right in saying that Patton needed to ease up and put Thomas first sometimes but…but giving Janus a seat at the table shouldn’t have meant taking Roman’s away from him.

Hell, they’d done the whole episode without Virgil or Remus even there, so that made things even _worse!_

He couldn’t bear to imagine what they would do if Roman and Virgil didn’t even _want_ to come home.

Nonetheless, he followed Logan as the pair headed back into the hallway to where Remus’ room was situated right across from Roman’s. Logan rapped on the door, but within mere seconds, the bright green door swung open and there stood Remus.

“ _Finally,”_ he drawled, immediately setting off Patton’s discomfort and Logan’s disinterest in his antics. “I was wondering when you two losers would come crawling back to little old me.”

Logan suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, but crossed his arms over his chest nonetheless.

“We don’t have time for this, Remus, we just need to get into the Imagination,” Logan explained with a frustrated sigh.

Remus cackled briefly.

“I’m sure you do!” He teased, reaching out to tug teasingly on Logan’s tie. “I must say, I was pretty surprised to find out my dear brother finally stopped being a pussy and called your bluff.”

Logan faltered for only a moment before readjusting his tie and continuing.

“I would suggest assisting us in our endeavors, that is, unless you want Thomas’ entire career and livelihood to fall apart without him,” Logan argued as calmly as he could. “Unless, of course, you no longer want a ‘seat at the table,’ metaphorically speaking.”

Remus eyed Logan carefully, the two staring unwaveringly at each other, before Remus rocked back onto his heels, twiddling the curl of his mustache with one hand. .

“Fine,” he conceded with a smirk. “You know I live for the drama, after all.”

Logan and a hesitant Patton followed Remus across the hall back to Roman’s room as Remus swiftly opened the door to the Imagination as if he hadn’t been locked only moments ago.

“Thank you, Remus,” Logan spoke sincerely. Remus snorted, heading back towards his room.

Patton fumbled with the sleeves of the sweater tied around his shoulders as Logan closed the door behind Remus, sighing softly.

“Are we doing the right thing?” Patton spoke up abruptly, surprising Logan with his question.

“Objectively, whatever it takes to return both Roman and Virgil to the mindscape would be considered ‘the right thing to do’,” Logan answered matter-of-factly. Patton nodded, still not meeting his eyes. “However, the more emotional side of this issue is usually your expertise…is there something I’m not understanding here?”

Patton’s gaze snapped up to meet Logan’s as the latter placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I just…I don’t know if I’m sure what’s right and what’s wrong anymore,” he mumbled under his breath.

Typically mumbling served no purpose for conveying information, and Logan would’ve chastised him for it, but it didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up. He decided right then that he definitely did not like this state that his family seemed to be in. Agitated, uneasy, and frazzled. All of them questioning their own purposes and contributions…it was worrying, to say the least.

Before Logan could respond, Patton continued.

“I couldn’t stand not knowing the right answer to Thomas’ problems but…but that’s my entire job! I’m supposed to guide him between right and wrong and I _thought_ I was right, but in order to be right, I had to work _against_ Janus,” he looked right into Logan’s eyes with a deeply-rooted sadness that the logical side had only seen from him once before. “And you _know_ how much I hate choosing sides, Logan. I just…I couldn’t let Thomas lie to his friends. Everything else just came with that choice, but…but I put Roman right in the middle of it and I hurt him _twice_ over this-“

His body shook as his tears spilled over violently. When he continued, Logan was almost afraid.

Somehow…something akin to anger, in layman’s terms, was radiating off of Patton in waves.

Frustration maybe?

Disappointment?

“I let him _down_ , Logan,” he cried, keeping his eyes on Logan and avoiding looking at the multitude of things around the room. He was far too distracted to notice how stressed his overwhelming emotions were making his counterpart. “He trusted me and I-“

His voice broke from the force of his tears and Logan, ever the self-proclaimed emotionless robot, awkwardly pulled him in for a hug. _That’s_ what this was.

Heartbreak.

Thomas was _heartbroken_ , and therefore…so was Patton.

Patton spent a few moments letting himself calm down before Logan began to speak, his chin resting on Patton’s head and his voice reverberating comfortingly.

“It’s not our job to know everything, not even mine,” he started, speaking as gently as he could. “Believe me, there is little in this world that is harder to understand than the contradicting philosophy of morals and ethics. You are _Thomas’_ morality, Patton. I know for certain that you would never expect Thomas or any of the rest of us to be perfect. We do our best with what we’re given and, for the sake of last night, you were given an already distressing moral conflict, coupled with multiple opposing viewpoints. It’s far from your fault that things didn’t end up perfectly.” Logan carefully pulled back from their embrace to wipe the tears off of Patton’s cheeks before simply cupping his face in one hand. “One of the hardest things to do in life is to accept that we can’t always do what we think we’re supposed to be able to do. That’s just a fact of existence. You might think you’re supposed to have all of the answers, and sometimes maybe you will, but in the grand scheme of life there is nothing you can do but your best.”

Patton sniffled, wiping his face and nose with the sleeves of his cardigan.

“No matter what happens, I can promise you one thing,” he swore, backed with more genuine emotion than he’d ever felt. “We will all still love you no matter what. I can guarantee it. We’re a family, Patton, like it or not. Families don’t fall apart when someone makes a mistake. We’re all together because we look out for each other and we help each other when we can’t handle everything on our own. That’s what you’ve always taught me, at least,” Logan said with a small smile. “Most importantly right now, _Roman_ still loves you. I guarantee it. He’s hurting just like you are because, just the same as you, he tried his best to do what he thought was right.”

Logan, in a strange moment of foreign emotions, leaned down and pressed his lips to Patton’s forehead.

“This won’t be for nothing. It might be hard to go back to normal at first, but it’s worth it. I know you know it is. I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he finished, pulling out of their hug and offering his hand to the emotional side, who looked back up at him with so much trust in his eyes before nodding and taking his hand.

It wasn’t the first time either of them had been into the Imagination, but all instances in the past had been for a video Thomas was filming, or for the sake of a project Roman had been working on. It was always tailored to show them exactly what Roman wanted it to, but being there without him…well they would both admit it felt wrong.

Nevertheless, there was nothing that was going to stop them from bringing their family back together.

* * *

It was just past sunrise when Roman awoke, the sun from the nearby window streaming through directly onto his face. Virgil, shielded from the sun by burrowing into Roman’s own back, remained asleep until Roman shifted to lay flat on his back, curling his arm to guide Virgil onto his chest. He was more than content to do the holding after being held through the night, and he was plenty willing to just lie there until Virgil eventually awoke.

Despite that fact, Virgil awoke at the slightest movement from Roman, clutching onto his arm as if he were afraid that Roman was no longer there.

“Hi,” he mumbled, squinting when he opened his eyes directly into the sun. Roman chuckled softly.

“Morning, sunshine.”

Virgil snorted, propping his head up on one hand to look down at Roman lying beside him. He just stared for a brief moment, feeling much more calm alone there with Roman than he could ever recall feeling. Maybe it was something to do with being so far away from his room, or maybe it was something Roman was controlling, but nevertheless, he savored it.

“Thank you for staying with me,” Roman spoke sincerely, his hand squeezing Virgil’s, which the latter didn’t even realize he was holding.

“We went over this already,” Virgil sighed, rolling his eyes in a way that held no frustration, only fondness. “There’s hardly anywhere I wouldn’t go for you.”

Roman blushed scarlet, pulling away from Virgil’s hand to cover his face. Virgil laughed, grabbing his wrists and pulling them away to pin them down onto the mattress on opposite sides of Roman’s head. In one swift motion, he swung one leg over the royal side’s waist, straddling his hips. Roman went somehow redder, but couldn’t possibly take his eyes off of Virgil.

“Come on, Princey, don’t act like this is anything you didn’t see coming,” Virgil smirked, his tone teasing. “You’ve known for a long time now how I feel about you. I already know you feel the same, we’ve just been dancing around this limbo stage for weeks.”

He leaned in, releasing his grip on Roman’s hands to cup his jaw with one and cradle his head with the other.

“I literally just ran away with you, Ro. Seriously, I’m so done with pretending I’m not in love with you,” he chuckled, not missing the way Roman inhaled sharply at his words.

“Me too, holy fuck” Roman breathed, flustered out of his mind, but so, so happy.

With one final relieved smile from Virgil, Roman’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck to nestle in his hair and he swiftly pulled him down to meet his lips halfway, sighing contently into the kiss. Virgil instantly took Roman’s face in his hands and kissed back with a passion reserved exclusively for Roman.

It was something so tender and private that both of them were certain that none of the others had caught onto in the weeks they spent tiptoeing around each other as they both waited for the other to make a move, but now, being completely alone together, it was impossible to describe it as anything other than completely perfect.

They made out for what could’ve easily been hours before Virgil ultimately broke away, concluding that if they were going to continue traveling, they should head out before the whole morning was already wasted.

“Wasted? Darling, I’d hardly call what we’ve been doing a waste,” Roman teased, knowing full-well that Virgil hadn’t meant what he’d said.

“Shut up, you dolt, obviously it wasn’t a waste,” Virgil assured him, finally climbing out of bed to pull on a black knit sweater over the t-shirt he had slept in, doing the same with a pair of black jeans he’d laid out the night before. Roman continued to lay in bed, his arms draped across his face with a dazed smile on his lips.

“Dude, I thought you agreed that we have to get moving,” Virgil groaned, an air of laughter to his words as he rolled his eyes exasperatedly, grabbing Roman by the ankle and pulling him off the bed until he finally got up.

“This is my realm, remember?” Roman smirked, snapping his fingers as his outfit magically appeared on his body and his hair somehow went back to being meticulously brushed and curled.

Virgil, just glad to get moving again, grabbed Roman by the collar and pulled him down for one last kiss before stepping into his boots and grabbing both of their cloaks to leave again.

Roman saddled up onto the horse first, holding out his hand to help Virgil back up again as the shorter wrapped his arms around his love’s waist.

“So, where to?” Virgil asked, not caring at all what the answer was.

They took off riding in the direction they had come from the night before as Roman sighed, relaxing once they were out in the open.

“Well, we could go to the kingdom if you want. I know you’ve seen it, but there’s plenty you haven’t seen too if you’d rather,” he explained.

Virgil just shrugged.

“Dealer’s choice. I already told you, I’ll go with you anywhere,” he smiled, his chin on Roman’s shoulder as he whispered into the other’s ear.

He could practically hear the smile in Roman’s voice.

“Well, my dark and stormy knight, I recently constructed a replica of the tower from Tangled, or I have the log cabin in the East Woods, or there’s the city if we turn around and go back in the other direction, and then of course there’s all of Remus’ stuff, but it’s pretty much uninhabitable so I’d say that’s off the table, but we could even head for the mountains, or-“

“Anywhere. Literally anywhere, just say the first thing that comes to mind and that’s where we’re going,” Virgil laughed at Roman’s rambling.

“Alright, alright,” Roman conceded, chuckling. “I’m just not used to you being so open to anything. Usually it takes at least an hour to decide on what movie to watch.”

“I don’t know why, I guess it’s just different being here. There’s no reason to be afraid anymore, you know?”

Roman turned his head enough to press a kiss to Virgil’s temple.

“I know, sunshine. You make me feel safe too, you know,” Roman said simply, as if it wasn’t one of the most surprising things Virgil had ever heard him say.

“Seriously?” Virgil couldn’t stop himself from shyly asking, glad that Roman couldn’t see the blush covering his face.

Roman laughed softly, the vibrations reverberating through his body to Virgil’s chest.

“Virgil, I’m not sure I could ever put into words what it means to me that you did all of this,” Roman spoke almost sadly. “I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been, but I will never be able to thank you enough for it. I…I don’t have anyone else but you right now and I just…” he trailed off. “I truly do love you. More than I could ever say.”

Virgil just tightened his grip around Roman’s waist.

“Well, sometimes even the hero needs someone looking out for him too,” he smiled to himself. “Nothing feels quite as scary when I know you’re always gonna’ be here with me. I guess I just wanted to be that for you.”

In moments like that, it was hard for either to believe there was ever a time in their lives when they didn’t even like each other. To think that once upon a time they hadn’t felt this overwhelming sense of safety and warmth just from being around each other. Roman felt his eyes start to water as the weight of Virgil’s words sank in, but he hadn’t noticed the figures approaching in the distance.

Virgil, however, immediately took notice.

He grabbed Roman’s arm, pointing off into the distance at what appeared to be two figures walking through the forest on foot. It wasn’t a question as to who they were, only making Roman’s heart sink as he realized what was inevitably about to happen.

“Roman, if you’re not ready to talk to them then we can turn around and take off in the other direction, they clearly haven’t noticed us yet,” Virgil assured him, his hand now tracing circled into Roman’s bicep. “Just say the word and we’ll head the other way, I promise.”

Roman stared for a moment, his heart aching as he realized how badly he wanted to stop running and go back home, but he wasn’t sure he could.

“I don’t…I don’t know if I can,” he choked, his chest getting tight as he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the blurry figures in the distance. “They might be mad at me of leaving, what if…what if they came to take you away?” Roman spiraled, turning around to look at Virgil with his eyes full of panic.

The latter reached up to brush his tears away.

“No matter what happens, I won’t leave you. I’ll be right here by your side the whole time, I swear. I would never let them or anyone else hurt you, Roman. I’m will to bet they’re here because they want you to come home, but if that’s not what you want then I won’t go back with them, okay?” Roman nodded, attempting to compose himself. “Do you trust me?”

Roman looked up at Virgil as if he’d hung the very stars in the sky.

“You know I do, emo,” Roman sighed fondly. Virgil huffed with a smile.

“Just checking.”

Roman ran his hands through his hair, still panicking about all of the ways he would inevitably ruin this potential confrontation when, almost without realizing it, he squeezed Virgil’s hand and the two rode off towards the figures in the distance.

Virgil could feel the tension in Roman’s shoulders as he held tightly onto him, but he was sure he wasn’t much better off himself. He was anxiety after all, but as he was coming to learn, sometimes anxiety took a backseat when he found something more important.

Okay, Roman was more important.

It was pretty much just Roman so far.

The one thing that could make his anxiety take a backseat for the sake of taking care of the man he loved.

Still, he could feel Roman’s muscles tense the moment the other two noticed them coming through the trees. Patton stopped dead in his tracks and grabbed Logan’s arm, pointing in the direction of the approaching pair.

Roman slowed the horse to a stop with a sizeable distance still between them. Close enough to speak, but not to reach out or touch.

Virgil dismounted the horse first, not even acknowledging Logan and Patton standing across the clearing before first helping Roman down and standing slightly in front of him as if ready to defend him from whatever might happen. Sure, Roman knew that Virgil was inherently protective, being Thomas’ anxiety and all, but seeing it displayed for his sake just tugged at his heartstrings in a way he’d never felt before.

“What do you want with him?” Virgil called out across the clearing. Both Patton and Logan seemed taken aback by his question. Roman’s hand fisted in the back of Virgil’s cloak for reassurance.

They both saw the glance exchanged between the two blue-clad sides as Logan silently urged Patton to say his piece.

“I just came to apologize,” Patton called out in response, his voice sounding so heartbroken it nearly shook the defense of the opposing pair. “To both of you, really. I just…I never wanted to hurt you, Roman, I’m sorry!”

Roman inhaled sharply, his heart rate picking up as Virgil began to sense his rising anxiety.

Virgil just couldn’t take it. The conversation was clearly taking a turn as Roman began to feel guilty and he just couldn’t stand by and let it happen.

 _This is your job,_ he told himself. _This is what you were born to do. To protect them all._

“How could you choose _him_?” Virgil shouted into the empty space. His hands were shaking as he spoke. He knew if he looked back at Roman’s face his entire composure would shatter, so he kept his gaze locked on the other pair. “When there was a still way to let them both have a say, why would you just choose Janus?!”

Patton looked ready to burst into tears at any moment. Virgil knew full-well he was already feeling plenty guilty before even stepping foot into the Imagination, but he wasn’t going to hold back. No, he was sick of this. If fighting for the first time in years was what it was going to take, then so be it.

“Just because we all deserve a seat at the table doesn’t mean you get to _take his!”_ Virgil felt the internal block on his emotions just disappear all at once, the hand he used to gesture as he spoke immediately making a grabbing motion for Roman behind him, who took it in his own and squeezed tightly. He was sure there were tears coming now but he couldn’t bring himself to wipe them away.

Logan had begun to move closer to the pair, leading a reluctant Patton behind him. It seemed like everyone was waiting for the moment to pass when Logan held his hands up in surrender.

“I understand you both came here to get away from us. If you want us to leave, just say the word and we’re gone,” he started, choosing his words carefully and speaking them calmly. “But I promise we did not come here to fight. We both completely understand that we were wrong. All we want is to make peace so that we can all start to move on from this.”

Virgil felt a slight tug on his hand and, glancing back at Roman, he took a step back and gave Roman the stage.

“I’m not mad at you,” he started, earning a surprised look from all of them, especially Virgil. “I promise I’m not, I would never lie about something like that.”

Ahh, the issue on the cusp of all of their problems.

_Lies._

Roman, ever the chivalrous and bold. Always the one to tell it like it is, to never hold back, and to always admit when his bluntness got the better of him at someone else’s expense.

Roman, as much as it could’ve benefitted the others at times in the past, was _never_ one to lie _._

“I’m not mad at you. I’d never hold either of you to a standard I couldn’t hold up myself,” he explained, training his gaze on the space between them all so he wouldn’t have to see any of their faces. “I know I’m not perfect. I know I haven’t been doing a very good job lately, but I just don’t know if I can keep going on this path alone.”

Virgil’s hand squeezed his hand tightly.

“I know—I know I’m not… _really_ alone, but before you say anything…I already know I’m the only one fighting for the path I wanted for Thomas,” he spoke with a half-hearted huff of a laugh. “And-and that’s perfectly okay! I’m in charge of Thomas’ hopes and dreams, trust me, I know that sometimes you just have to let go of certain dreams, but…”

He exhales shakily, dropping Virgil’s hand to rub harshly at his eyes.

He’s not sure if he cares that all three of the others are now circled around him.

“I _know_ that sometimes the things he wants come with lying and cheating and fighting dirty every so often but I just-“ he chokes on his words as the tears spill out. “My whole existence was born out of the two of you.” He finally looks up at Logan and Patton in front of him, not even realizing that he sank to his knees at some point in his speech. “That’s why I was the last of the three of us to appear, because…because Thomas’ creativity came from _you_ before it ever came from me.”

No one spoke as the weight of his statement sank in.

“All those years ago…back when Remus and I had first split apart…you two _claimed_ me. You took the part of Thomas’ creativity that you saw as good and I-,” he broke off, his hands shaking so badly that Virgil took one, leaning into Roman’s shoulder, and surprisingly Logan took his other hand. “You two claimed me and told me I was good and-and I believed it for so long, but I _can’t_ , I just _can’t figure out how to do it right anymore.”_

The silence hung over them like a heavy weighted blanket. The relief of the truth finally being set free, but the weight of an unknown future hanging over their heads.

“Roman?” Logan spoke up, causing the other to snap his gaze up to meet his eyes. “You’ve _always_ been exactly what we needed you to be.”

“You’re the best parts of us. That must be why you and Remus split, after all. Back when it was just Patton and I…when we were nothing more than Thomas’ equivalent ‘left brain and right brain’…the parts of us that we couldn’t embody on our own-“

“Became you,” Patton finished, a look somewhere between bewildered and ashamed on his face.

Roman nodded, now back to staring at the ground.

“The ambition and drive for self-improvement that I control, Patton’s sensitivity and desire to take care of others…how could I have not figured it out before?” Logan deduced out loud as if hadn’t realized he wasn’t talking to himself. “Oh…oh I think I understand now.”

Logan was speechless as the pieces connected in his head. He looked to Patton and Virgil each for a moment as if to confirm that they hadn’t made the same connection. He took a deep breath, trying to figure out the sensation of tightness in his chest and dryness in his throat.

“We’ve been inadvertently telling you that it wasn’t enough when…when all this time you’ve been doing what _we_ were never strong enough to do ourselves,” Logan’s voice echoed through the silence with an unusual tremor of sadness.

Patton, seemingly involuntarily, let out something between a sob and a gasp, instinctively reaching out to wrap Roman up in a hug before he stopped himself. Roman simply dropped his arms from being wrapped tightly around his midsection, looked up at Patton, and softly whispered, “Please.”

That was all that the moral side needed before pulling Roman into his chest and cradling him tightly. Roman’s hands remained in his lap for a few moments before grabbing onto Patton as well and relaxing into the comfort. At some point he felt the other two join in as well, despite neither being very fond of comfort in the hugging department, but joined nevertheless.

Roman was still shaking through violent sobs, finally getting the relief of months worth of hurt and repressed emotions out into the open. Virgil held him tightly, wrapping his arms around Roman’s waist from behind and burying his face in the crook of his neck. He could feel Roman’s hands squeezing his own, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty as he knew it was largely for his own sake considering Roman knew how prolonged group contact made him nervous. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had failed. That, by trying to make sure Thomas remained safe and happy, by _trying_ to protect his career from ever going under, he was inadvertently making things worse for Roman.

He felt sick just thinking about being the cause of so much pain for the man he loved so dearly, but now there was nothing he could do but try to fix the damage.

It was possible to ease up. He could let Roman take a few more creative risks here and there, he would be _fine._

If this whole disaster had taught him anything, it’s that he could be brave if given the right reason to. He could put his fears aside and allow his family to succeed and, if he was being honest, learning how to be more than just anxiety was more than worth the happiness it would bring to them all.

“Hey Roman?” Patton spoke up eventually, after the sobs had long-since subsided. They all leaned back slightly, still keeping in some form of physical contact with each other.

“Hmm?” He couldn’t quite count on the fragility of his voice to not betray him quite yet.

“I…I think we still need to give Janus a chance to be a part of decisions going forward. Remus…maybe to a lesser extent,” he laughed nervously at the end. “And-and I know it’s not easy, kiddo. I’m still…getting used to the fact that Thomas has this capacity to be immoral, but I think it’s only fair we give them both a chance.”

Roman nodded, turning away from Patton’s gaze until the latter reached out to cup one of his cheeks in his hand, brushing away the tear tracks on his skin.

“But we went about it all wrong, kiddo. Saying we all get a seat at the table doesn’t mean it was right for me to practically take yours and give it to Janus,” he continued with a sad smile. “You trusted me, you gave up everything you’ve ever worked for because…because you trusted me to know what was right and I let you down. I’m so, so sorry, Roman. For everything. The wedding, the fight, all of it. You’ve always been the one to give me the time I needed to move on whenever Thomas was hurting because you always understood and when you needed me to give you a break and to give you time to move on from that loss, I didn’t.”

Roman opened his mouth to say something in response, surely to shrug it off and say it was okay, but Patton was one step ahead of him.

“I know it’s not okay. I know…we aren’t all going to be back to normal for a while, but I just want you to know that we’re here to work with you. No more tearing each other down, and that goes for all of us. We can’t make this work if we’re all working alone,” he smiles more fully now, like a weight has finally been lifted. “And in case I haven’t done a very good job of showing it lately…I love you so much, kiddo.”

Roman felt a sense of relief flood over him, a smile tugging at his lips that, for the first time since their fight, he didn’t try to hold back.

“Love you too, padre.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is so long but if anyone actually read this whole thing then thank you so much!!! comments mean the world to me and i would love to know what y'all think of my theory about how thomas' creativity came to be:)
> 
> I'll put a more in-depth explanation of it in the comments if anyone is curious
> 
> but pls tag me in anything if y'all use this theory bc i would absolutely love love love to read y'all's interpretations of this concept!! i'm working on setting up art accounts but for now it's @elliematics on tumblr and twitter, or @krustywhore on tumblr :)


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